NiCe gIrL

haha!!! the first step to college

2005-04-22T13:25:00.000-07:00

just last Tuesday, April 19... we had the enrolment at Xavier University... I'M TAKING BS COMPUTER SCIENCE!!! (you know, i'm that proud since i won over my parents' choice: Nursing! no way!!!!) lots of people came. i even saw some of my grade school classmates like Raphael, Giovanni, Daryl and Angel!!! :) it was nice to see them in college.

bevs and i were together during the enrolment... us .... the future computer programmers! hehehe :p Nerissa, Blondie, and Ritchel are also taking up the same course. actually, all of us are blockmates: block A. nice... at least i wont be lonely in the class! haha!:)

april was also there... i'm glad she was because at least bevs and i won't be that bored being just the two of us there. i really love April! imagine? even though there were other friends, she still preferred to accompany us. :) ------- by the way, she's gonna leave us next week for Manila. she's going to study at UP Los Banos. :( -------

well.... i've enrolled myself already!!!! i really like my schedule! perfect!:) what a long and tiring day... i cant imagine myself... you know, wearing the uniform with heeled shoes and then walk as fast as i can just to reach the Eng'g building (which is really that far) on time! i'd look funny.. but hey! think posi! i'd be slim then at the end of the school year, ryt? hehe.. walking is an exercise! hehehe... :)

well guys! just wish me luck.. as well as the others... i hope all of us will succeed in our own chosen course... :) may God be with us all the time... :)

an outing: Kahulugan Spring

2005-04-04T19:20:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday, Pa!=)

April 4, 2005 - issuance of cards and diplomas yet the diplomas will be issued on April 19 instead(damn! if only i knew, i would not have gone to school!=/)... and also the distribution of my pictures! hehehe =p

but the highlight for this day: our outing at Kahulugan Spring

> uhmmm.. just wanna say sorry to the mean girls if i haven't informed them about this. i only invited Steph and April because my parents can't accomodate us all... i'm really sorry.. pls forgive me, gals! =( <> i'm so bad! < color="#ff99ff">finally, we jumped! on our own!!! hahah!!! what an achievement!!!! clap clap clap!:D

ohhh.... we really enjoyed so much swimming here and there and not to mention our cute-guy-hunt! heheheh... anyway, we readied ourselves for departure and near the shower rooms, the guy who helped April was there so we grabbed the chance to thank him then we introduced ourselves to each other. his name is Rey.. then came the guy who helped me and i thanked him but i didn't get his name.. anyway, big thanks to them!!! :)

i'm so dark now! u can't see me anymore! :(
but it's okay... summer look! :)

Upon arriving home, we were so tired and i asked April to sleep in our house.. haaahhh... chika galore! then..... bbbbuuuuuuzzzzzzz.... -_-

the father-mother-daughter game

2005-04-03T20:40:00.000-07:00

hehehe.. sounds funny.. anyway...

these past few days, mama and i use to play cards.. are you familiar with the game called rami? hehe, i don't think so.. neway, it's almost the same with tong-itz :)

this morning, it wasn't only my mama and i who played. this time, papa joined... the three of us played three rounds of the game.. papa won 1st, then mama, then i won the last round! what a fair play!:o

i won't forget that moment.. that moment was just once in a lifetime.. it's very rare that u get to sit down with ur parents and play a game. it may be just a simple thing for you but for me, it's worth something special.

oh.. i just realized how much i miss them both after being so busy all this time.. truly, it was a father-mother-daughter game worth remembering :)

another night with my former classmates

2005-04-03T20:08:00.000-07:00

Adrian invited me over to their house for a dinner dual celebration of his and his bro's graduation.

Jasen is in Malaybalay and i haven't reached Angel so i was alone. but i'm glad Francis, who became my textnate these days, was there to accompany me to Adrian's.

i felt so ashamed 'coz i thought Daryl won't come, so then i'd be the only outsider since everyone at Ad's are all his classmates , and then i would get OP.

when we arrived, Francis, Nessol, Lee, and i, Daryl was there ahead of us! so great! at least i wasn't alone. i sat in a table at the garden with Joarn, Francis, Lee, Mark, Julio, Miles (who's now also very good in playing the guitar) and ate. later on, Cons and the other girls arrived. after eating, the rest inside were having fun playing the 1-2-3 pass game. i thought i was going to have a bad night coz they were having fun and i wasn't. i really felt that i don't belong. :(

after awhile, Francis went somewhere with the others while Lee, Ryan (the schoolmate who transferred from XUHS), Sir Allan, Nessol, Ruffy (who happens to be Michael's bro in their Ironclad frat), Joarn, Clint, Ernel and i played a card game new to me, named 100. the game was nice! we had so much fun laughing and teasing the loser. we were so noisy by then. i really had fun!:D

it was already ten o'clock. it was time to go home. :( Michael accompanied Ernel and I to the terminal. thanks to him!

wait, haven't you noticed? i was with guys... i never had time or the chance to go near the girls. i felt they weren't eager to talk to me. i felt the wall... we really aren't close, you know. :/

anyway, i have a secret.. oh my! just realized that some of the guys look good. like Nessol and Michael, and Mark... Haha! :p hmmmm ???:)

APRIL FOOLS' DAY

2005-04-01T21:30:00.000-08:00

i never thought i'd be fooled this day

wyl having fun surfing the net this afternoon, maxx forwarded a msg something lyk this:

maxine? ate ni ni jocelyn. anhi sa hospital karon kay nadisgrasya iya gisakyan.

i was really very very worried!!! i wanted to know everything bout what happened to her and where she was that tym, which hospital, what room number?

shyet! only to find out that maxx was just fooled by jo and chee and i were fooled too!!! i got pissed off! but then i laughed... oh yeah.. today is april fools' day... how could i forget...

i wanted revenge!!! so i planned (hihihihi... )

Raffy!!! my victim!!! haha! so i sent him a message:

raffy? frens mo ni agnes? m sory to say pero naa xa sa hospital kron kay nadisgrasya iyang gisakyan pag-uli

not long after i sent my message, my phone rang!
he called! imagine!! he called!!! he was so worried! i heard him say, "yawa! kulbaan kaau ko ngetz! nadisgrasya.. yawa!"

hahahah!! all i did was laugh! then i felt the guilt insyd. so i said sorry... oh noh... i sort of blamed myself and thought that i should've done that.. but oh!! i am so happy! not because i've done vengeance but because i knew ryt then and there that raffy cares bout me. u see? he got so worried and nervous. he even called! he has proven me that he really is my friend! and he cares...

i never thought i've fooled 3 people today. the other two were michael (a text buddy) and hazel (my sis on irc)

despite the guilt i felt, i felt happiness knowing that when something happens to me, these three people will surely be worried. it's nice to know people care... and to think, i haven't met them yet!!!

anyway, hope you guys have also experienced this.. just a warning:
THINK FIRST OF THE POSSIBLE CONSEQUENCES!!! and another thing, never fool someone if your intention is just to know the reaction of that person. it might cause something you'll regret for... perhaps, forever... :)

BY THE WAY...

happy 18th birthday to Michael Pantuan!!!

and.. good news!!! our monitor is clear nah!!! wohoo!!!:D

"once again"

2005-03-29T19:43:00.002-08:00

the graduation day of Philippine Southfield School, my former alma mater, has finally arrived on the 28th of March 2005... we were there.. me, Jasen, Daryl, Moiz and Jersam. we are alumni of PSS and we made sure that on the day of the graduation of our former classmates, we will be there to celebrate with them. and yes! we made it!:)

we met and shook hands with our former classmates... Clint, Francis,Ernel, Paul, Miles, Camille, Consuelo, Paulyn, Andre, Andrew, Joarn, Charisse, Rogenne, Adrian, Mark, Martha.. there were really a lot of them and we just couldn't help but flash our big smiles saying how much we miss them all.. it was really fun! we were also able to talk with our former moderator and teachers.. thank God they still remember my name! we met Mrs. Mel Bayan (Grades 4 and 6 moderator), Sir Allan Guibone (our Math teacher), T. Mai (our barkada English teacher who got married two years ago with her high school buddy >how nice<, uhmm.. yeah just the three of them... then comes the Southfield Song... the song i'm glad i never forgot its lyrics! oh how i missed singing that song!:)

right after the ceremony, Ernel and Clint took some pictures with us... (at least! hehe) then Miles, our grade school valedictorian, invited us over to their house for a celebration! great! so, we rode with him. i was with Jasen and Daryl, then Mrs. Bayan. then we started our conversation. you know, recalling grade school moments. minutes after we finished eating, some former classmates arrived... Joarn, Ernel, Ross, Francis, Adrian, Clint, Moiz, Jersam, Ramon, and we were introduced to their salutatorian, .... (oh my i forgot his first name) Villar. then Daryl played songs with the guitar as we sang along. whoa! i never thought Adrian is a good guitarist! he played rock, pop, and mellow songs. cool... the guys were really guys now... physically. but then i never thought they'd still be kids at heart. it was still like how we were back in grade school. they still tease each other and call names as they used to call each other back in grade school. i had so much fun laughing! oh how i miss them. but still, we can't deny the fact that we are now ladies and gentlemen :)

it was time to go home... 10 o'clock in the evening. i got a ride with Ross on his motorbike while Jasen and Moiz rode with Francis. they really have gwown, they now have their own motorbikes... so cool!:)

it was really nice to be back at Southfield. it's so nice recalling those moments each of us has kept. it's so nice to see your grade school classmates again. those that you played takyan, sipa-bola, chinese garter, hide and seek, with... those you spent your childhood days with for 6 years... seeing the fields, the classrroms, the faces of my former teachers and classmates... these things made me feel like i was a Southfielder once again. :) Southfield Alma Mater Dear...

...CHANGES...
Francis is tall now... when he used to be so small.. shorter than me
Also Ramon, he has grown tall and slim when he uses to be tambokikoy
Miles is very manly now when he used to be so fat and playful
Adrian is still tall but then i never thought he could become the Reg Comm of their CAT, and yeah, i said it, he's great in playing the guitar.
Paul, my grade six best bud, i can see his gay gestures i never seen before... OMG
Mark is still silent and serious but he has grown and has become handsome with his serious look
Andrew, my grade two best bud, has really grown many inches! he's way taller than me! when he used to be the shortest and smallest in class
Joshua, my grade 4-6 crush.. Jasen said, he has become ugly, but still he's handsome for me. he has become mature when he used to be so kulit... and he has a girlfriend, Dianne
Dianne was once my bestfriend. she used to be fat but now? she's slim and cute and pretty. i envy her.. so much
Consuelo is really gorgeous... she has become a lady.. lady lady
Joarn is like Jonaly Rojo. She's almost turning into a boy. hehe!
Ernel is still a gay... but we've become closer during that night

these are all the changes i noticed.. changes which make them better.

KILIG MOMENTS WITH NICK:

2005-03-19T17:05:00.000-08:00

Nov. 10 '04 @ 9:40 AM

As I was walking through the corridors with Jonaly, I saw him standing at the back door of Sanvi's room. As we passed, Jonaly greeted him with an "up here!" then I asked, "So you two are friends, huh? By the way, he's my crush." The moment I finished, Jonaly went back to him and knowing for sure what she was to do, I ran to the room and hid. I can remember how my classmates were when they saw me so red in the face... then Chloe called teasingly, "Nes, spmeone's looking for yah!" then I peeked and saw his face! The bad thing was, I hid back... stupid me! by then he should have known...

Finally after a series of call, I went out of the classroom just to get to Jonaly who brought him. Then Jonaly introduced us and we gave each other our hi-hellos, our hand wave, and smile. Right then and there, I never thought that moment was happening. I just can't forget his words, "Magtinagaray na mi karon kay friends na gud mi." sheix! It was actually the first time I was introduced to my crush who'd call me his friend. Wohoo! that was the start of our... "friendship" ?

Sometime in Nov '04 @ the Quantum,SM

While I was on my way to SM, I got bored under the heavy traffic. So I asked God to give me a sign. I was to count 8 blue vehicles and the first guy who'd greet me wearing a blue shirt would be "someone".

While Steph and I were talking just outside Quantum, I saw him raising his brows, smiling, and for the first time, waving! I had my arm crossed that time when I had to let loose so I could wave in return. I got even more kilig when later on, I found out that he was wearing a blue shirt! Coincidence? Or... Destiny?

Jan. 6 '05 @ the canteen

Jo and I lined up to pay our lunch. It was almost our turn when she got out of the line to get something from somewhere. Unexpectedly, while turning to look for Jo, it was him I saw. He was lining up! I already got out of the line so I could wait for Jo, who was to pay for my lunch that time. Luckily, Jo gave me the money so I could pay ahead. But realizing that it would be hard to go to the end of the line, I asked my crush a favor, "Hi! Pwede singit nalang ko kay lisud man gud mubalik didto?" and yes! Hahah! It felt so great knowing that he was right after me. So close!!!

Jan. 25 '05 @ 9:36 PM

I've been searching. For long I have waited to see his nick at the #xuhs… finally! And finally! I found his nick blinking in red! I just couldn't believe I'd see his nick blinking, waiting for my response… before I clicked on his nick, I found myself screaming (in my head) with tears of joy… for the first time! I had this conversation with him which I consider as the ultimate!

Jan. 29 '05 @ Dad's Roadside Grill

It was raining and we (Steph, Maxx, Jo, Pete, Kirbz, Popo, Neil, Sheen, and I) were looking for a place to dine in that almost 11 in the evening. Then at one of the windows, I saw his face! He was looking… then smiling.. then waving… at me! luckily, I’ve successfully persuaded my friends to eat there. Our table was just near theirs. I just couldn’t help but smile and scream inside. We were in the same foodhaus! He was there, I was there… sadly, they were about to leave but happily, he waved goodbye. Wohoo!

Feb 22 '05 @ 5:20 PM, Quadrangle

"his voice I never heard that loud before"

Feb 28 '05 @ 5:45 PM

Jo, the birthday girl, asked me to ask him where Jeremy is. I searched and spotted him coming out of the gate, going home. I stood up in an instance as if something pushed me towards him. Then I called his attention by waving. OMG! I forgot his name! How could that be? I almost called him, "Nick." No way! Then I murmured to myself (one could see it was so obvious), "Unsa gani iyang name? (processing…)" Then finally said, "_ _, balo ka aha si Jeremy?" processing... "Murag naa to xa ila j...i." That was all I heard so I asked, "Ila Jazi?" then he replied yes and I thanked him then he left... what a feeling! Kilig-to-the-bones! And oh I remember, I cried tears of joy! OA... hehe

*** and the times when I just see him, the times when we meet anywhere then he would smile and raise his brows and wave ***

I made this list of kilig moments because I have this feeling that these were the last… but I also have something to sure. Moments I’m not sure if I could call kilig moments. Last two moments..

Mar 16 '05 Grad Ball

All I hoped was to dance with him… then I saw him with a girl whom I thought was just his bestfriend. But if one has seen them, no doubt they're more than just that. I was hurt. I got so so jealous… they passed by me, holding hands. I saw them so sweet, so close… to get away with my sadness, I danced to the max with my classmates and during the slow dance, I danced with my twin bro, Merbert. I told him everything about how I felt that night. As we danced, I saw my other two crushes dancing with their girls. But I wasn't jealous at all. Then I saw them approaching the dance floor still holding hands. Sheix! They danced so close near us! Just beside us! I tried so hard to avoid looking at them because I knew it would only hurt me. I couldn't believe I cried a bit on bro's shoulder, and this time, not with tears of joy. But I said to myself that I had to be strong and show him I was okay. So I looked at him and he was looking at me so I had to flash my plastic smile… anyway, he smiled. The whole duration, we were facing each other. But we weren't dancing with each other. We were dancing with our own partners. It was like a movie… all I know is that I was never completely happy that night…

Mar 18 '05 Graduation Day

I had so much fun smiling at every camera… Bro Merbert asked me to have our picture taken. While posing, Steph signaled Nick's presence. Then I looked and he smiled so I had to smile. I can remember he waved. Did that mean goodbye?

Yes, goodbye. because now, I have a new crush! He was my crush before but for just a short time. His family name is _ _ r _ _... heheh... and I'd name him Smurf... sounds like his family name... I like him because he’s simple, cute and most of all, he knows how to play guitar. He's been playing in the bands. Impressive!!! I know this is too late since we've already graduated. But it's okay. At least I won't have to think of Nick anymore.

"gosh"

2005-03-03T21:09:00.000-08:00

Sheix! I never talked to him that long... 10 secs of voice-to-voice... intimacy? Nah... anyway, the talk wasn’t something. But I’m glad that at least, I talked to him... that first and last 10-sec talk ...

Oh my gosh!!! I visited his friendster account and I learned more about him. Testimonials say the same: _ _ is a sweet, friendly person who is fun to be with... oh... why can’t I feel his sweetness? Why can’t I be with him and have fun?

Fifteen days are left… no chance at all that I may be closer to him... no chance.. :(

I may sound very pathetic... but ... saonz nlng ???

"his voice i never heard that loud before..."

2005-02-25T12:00:00.000-08:00

then i saw him stood up and readied himself... i stood in gaze... wondrin', wondrin' what he's gonna do.. just waited.. and finally he sat down on that spot where no one could block my view. then the song started... then... "i don't know bout y'all but i know about us and uh, it's the only way we know how to rock" ... short but clearly heard. if only i could scream my heart out, then he'll know how happy and proud i was to see him performing with his voice i never heard that loud before..

just that 22nd of Feb, i felt the long lost kilig-to-the-bone.. that which i haven't felt for long since the last time i had it with McMc.. i felt so good.. so good.. so good... it was him who relived my heart just with his voice i never heard that loud before... :)

"a life renewed"

2005-02-20T18:41:00.000-08:00

the start of a renewed life... we just had the memorable, moving, fruitful 4-Richie Fernando class retreat at the Jesuit Retreat House at Malaybalay, Bukidnon from 18th to this 20th of January 2005...

first night, i immediately cried. so early i know. i belonged to Cell 3 with Maxx, Chee, April, Bevs, Blondie, Charm, Jessa, Kaye, Christa, Mampi, Jux, Richie, Popo, John, Daryl with our cell master, the retreat master and our dear friend-moderator, Fr. Chris... i'm really blessed to share times with this bunch of nerdz. this sounds cliche but really, i have learned a lot about them through their experiences as the reason behind who and what they are all this time. through the words i heard them, i was able to understand. and because of their open hearts to listen to my own words, too, i was able to let out what i have inside including the many tears i have shed. we always laughed at first and i never thought all of us could eventually cry together. that was really one of the most touching events during the retreat.

second night.. again, i cried.. it was "the moment" we've all been waiting for in the class. we read the palancas and i'd like to thank those who gave me such inpiring words of compliments that i can't help but put a true smile on my face. but unlike my other classmates, i didn't cry.. there was nothing for me to cry for. i was just happy reading them... then came the time of freely saying what one has to say. bevs approached me first and i admired her being very honest and concerned. she was the first to make me cry but it wasn't a bad thing. i even thank her for letting me know that i have "so-called" friends. big thanks to her. next, i talked to Jocelyn. we had the conversation that i thought would be the last one, the conversation so full of realizations that we were never really meant to be true friends. i'm very very glad she knew and accepted that also. next to her was Stephanie, my best friend. we had the 1st moment as best of friends. we made our vow that we won't drift apart. i also talked to Maxx, among my friends, it's only with her i never cried. i don't know why. maybe it's because i've already shed the tears while writing the palanca. i also finally said to her to take care and she'll be happy... we're happy. i also have talked to Chee and told her to be more than a friend i have been.. i've also talked to others and they all made me feel very calm.... then after everyone was done, we gathered ourselves in one big circle, prayed and hugged each and everyone then sang the theme songs. .... the night was really sentimental.... a night i won't forget. thanks to the people who were very honest.. :)

last day... just this morning the parents surprised us with series of songs. i knew already my mom won't be there so i just sat back and just couldn't help but cry. i don't feel bad about my mom not coming coz she already said so and i understood. it's just that i envy those whose loved ones were there. then we proceeded to the chapel for the morning praise. when everyone was out for the breakfast, i was left with blondie who also has no one. we just hugged each other and again, i cried. then i realized that i shouldn't be sad bcoz Fr. Chris, who held my hands, April and her mom who hugged also hugged me, then Steph's mom who kissed my cheek, made me feel loved. at least i have them.. but still i couldn't help but wish my mom was there. :(

the retreat really renewed me. aside from the conversations i had with the class during that night, the moments of being alone by myself made me realize how i missed Him so much and i was able to really come back to Him and thanked Him for all the blessings despite the lack of time to pray.. those moments really helped me and i'm grateful i've taken the retreat seriously coz i've been rewarded with a new life.

i couldn't believe we just finished our retreat. it was just like a dream and now we're back to reality. the reality which reminds us of the term paper defense, the ten-year dev't plan, and all the rest of the tiring things to do... i'm also tired of crying already but i don't regret i did easily cry bcoz i'm just like that, i have very shallow tears and i hope people have accepted that already and also the fact that i'm very sentimental and emotional... anyway, the tears helped :) the retreat will always be remembered...

for it brought me a new life, a new beginning...